Jan van der Straet, called Stradanus, Allegory of the New World, depicting Vespucci awakening the sleeping America (ca. 1587–89). Metropolitan Museum, New York.
Amerigo Vespucci
Did the hootchy-cootchy—
Being to blame
For the whole late-renaming game!
January 21, 2025
Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. . . .
Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart.
—Ecclesiastes 1: 2; 9: 7 (KJV)
“Pass the vomit bowl,” my late friend
Piers Horey used once to say
In his inimitable way.
Well, now the Regurgitation’s
Done, ready for a different
One? Don’t peoples also feel the urge
Like foolish kids to binge and purge—
Spew, shut your eyes, just lie in bed?
But that’s not what the Preacher said!!
No, really, have a drink. It’s fun!
Enjoy yourself—this’ll be done
A whole lot faster than you think:
As swift as stomping on a roach,
My Alternative Grim Approach.
January 21, 2025
Updated: Apr 6
In the Israel of the future
All Jewish robots will wear electronic yarmulkes
And Palestinian ones Wi-Fi-enabled keffiyehs.
In the Iran of the future, no robot will be tempted by another’s flowing locks:
They’ll all be fitted with approved (inorganic) cocks.
North Korea's chief exports are wigs, false beards, eyebrows, and eyelashes,
Which barber robots will reap from the masses.
While in the Ireland of the future,
Robots will chant, “Mea culpa, mea
maxima culpa!” in factories and shops,
And recite, unfailing, 24/7,
twelve Hail Marys on the hour.
O world, what then, a wondrous place,
With little left to sour, or disgrace!
Monday, January 20 2025
