Ghost Story

Amulet design from the Poule aux œufs d'or (Hen with the golden eggs) grimoire, or book of spells

Who will rid me of this Teague

fou—

Un fou qui se croyait Albert Camus ? †

Jean-Paul Sartre's specter gave a vengeful shout,

And four ghost Existentialists sprang out, in league

From the Cimetière du Montparnasse, though dead,

To whack Samuel Beckett's wraith upside the head—

Simone de Beauvoir, interred near the place,

Lamented not having chosen rather Pére Lachaise!

What has Undoing, then, in store for you and me

If such the ructions of the zombie wise?

Fear not! We've won no Nobel Prize!

Not worth a tinker's dam in Existential eyes,

I count me happy to be so obscure,

Though tempted, I admit, by fame's allure.

† A lunatic who thinks he's Albert Camus. "Teague" (or Taig): British sobriquet for a stage Irishman, deriving from the once ubiquitous Erse given name Tadhg.

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Lekker Brekker

Time, like an ever-rolling stream,

Bears all its sons away;

They fly forgotten, as a dream

Dies at the opening day.

—Isaac Watts (1719)

“Duty is truth, truth duty”—

Keats, was it, fashioned that ideal?

What's there to add—there's now no more,

For speech lies gagging on the floor:

Belle Époque's clutch of truths foreseen,

Hills of war "to end war" in sight,

That journey "to the end of night"?

Tiring of this nightmare dream,

What else, one wonders, could we ask,

Spread out upon our lekker beach to bask

With weapons that might safely suit?

Your quiver’s empty—but that bow is cute!

This is the breakfast of the few,

The lucky class who thought we knew:

A picnic from technology's hamper

That serves to make us privileged scamper.

Note: South Africans will understand the title of this poem—it means "nice [tasty, delicious] breakfast."

Saturday, May 31, 2025

Dark Energy

The Dark Energy Spectroscopic Instrument (DESI) at the Kitt Peak National Observatory in Arizona's Sonoran Desert

The universe—now 13.77 billion years old—is estimated to consist 71.4% of dark energy, 24% of dark matter, and 4.6% of visible matter.

"What rub-a-dub is that?"—Carlyle

Dark Energy, naturally, is God.

Dark Matter must be Beelzebub.

Thomistic proof of this is found,

But jurisdiction is the rub,

For if it's the other way around,

Why, Hell's three-quarters of the sky!

Mapping forty million galaxies

And quasar two-point clustering,

Including redshift-space distortions,

DESI* notes the universe slowing down.

Could be a cinder in its eye—

Explaining latter-day contortions

In a few billion years or so, for certain,

When Kronos drops the final curtain.

Ross Douthat will scoop the story

In the pages of the New York Times . . .

But don't forget: You first saw it here:

Nobodaddy wins predict these lines!

Envoi

DESI's been reported cancelled—

The DOE* must trim its budget—

Some news, it seems, is not worth knowing.

The end of everything redacted,

Nobodaddy'll reap the rot we're sowing,

Harvest of a fate enacted.

Why art thou silent & invisible

Father of jealousy

Why dost thou hide thyself in clouds

From every searching Eye

—William Blake, "To Nobodaddy"

*DESI—Dark Energy Spectroscopic Instrument

†DOE—U.S. Department of Energy

Thursday, May 29, 2025