Beatrix Potter, Three Blind Mice (1922)
Freely imitated from Chamfort
“If it weren’t for me, I’d be a great success.”—Nicolas Chamfort
Stupidity is not complete without a little intelligence, just as a gin and tonic calls for a slice of lime or a dash of bitters.
Philosophy, like Big Pharma, prioritizes the most expensive drugs.
Happiness makes happiness, just as money makes money.
Swallow a toad for breakfast and you may fast all day.
Love is better than marriage—novels are more fun than biographies.
I have three kinds of friends: those who like me, those who love me, and those who never answer my e-mails.
Bachelors’ wives are better than old maids’ children.
Be fair before you are generous—jeans are more necessary than underpants.
There are parts of the soul that must be made tipsy before we can live happily in this world.
The barque of one’s conscience is worse than its bite.
In order that nothing should be lacking from the contentment of the fortunate, society grants them a clear view of the sufferings of those less lucky.†
Anticipation is the most powerful antioxidant.
Minimalists threaten the rich—they have more than is good for them.
Tragedy exaggerates the importance of life and death; comedy underestimates it.
Disaster repeats itself, first as farce, then as history.
False modesty is the kindest lie.
S/he who quits the game wins.
† Cf. St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa Theologica: "That the saints may enjoy their beatitude more thoroughly, and give more abundant
thanks for it to God, a perfect sight of the punishment of the damned is granted them."
Friday, January 3, 2025
Sébastien Nicolas de Chamfort (1741–94). A playwright and member of the Académie française, known for his epigrams and aphorisms, Chamfort was among the first to enter the Bastille when it was stormed during the French Revolution. He became the secretary of the Jacobin club, but was briefly arrested after the execution of the Girondins who had called for an end to the revolutionary reign of terror. Expecting then to be arrested again, he attempted suicide, but botched it badly and lived on, mutilated, for some months, looked after, it is said, by a gendarme. See https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/1911_Encyclop%C3%A6dia_Britannica/Chamfort,_Sebastien_Roch_Nicolas.