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Hrodberht Opts for Briggs & Stratton

His name means Glorious One, Bright Fame.

In the far future he’ll be called Robert;

then Robin (Hood?), then Bob, leader of the "Vain Boys," who fix gas lawn mowers on Wingnut and Main.

But that f****** future's yet to come—

For now he’s chieftain of the Alemanni (“all men")

Who’ve just bought a shipload of feral wives

from Orkney off a gloating me-too Viking crew

signed up to be the new East Roman

emperor’s guards—they say they’ll have hotties

aplenty out there in Constantinople,

the greatest city in the world.

Not like these ropey Scots whores, who’ve shown balls already,

be it noted, kicking Gaulish butt—a fine

set of lovelies for Hrodberht’s rapist gang—

"Once they’ve settled down."

(Not that that'll ever happen!)

Meanwhile, what the f***'s

to be done about King Atilla, bitch,

who’s invaded North Rhine–Westphalia

with a hundred thousand wog horse archers?

First, homing in like a hornet,

then honing down like a plane,

half slanted-eyed Mongols, the rest

Vandals, Ostrogoths, Suebi—who at least,

jabber in an Indo-European tongue.

The Chinese call them the Xiongnu.

Here, white guys call them Huns.

And Hrodberht must henceforth pay them tribute

—some of the loot might do from

Lutetia's sacking, which that city's bourgeois-bohème (or bo-bo) crew,

call Civitas Parisiorum,

aka "the City of the Parisii."

Or perhaps something in the hopey nest egg bin?

Who, after all, needs a fake Roman silver

breastplate-helmet "twin set" anyhow

that Macronius himself may have worn,

that lousy, lying pissant Khazar had sworn.

On the other hand—through both hands, indeed—

Attila is said to crucify those too stingy

nailing them to the nearest sacred tree.


Moral


Better to ensure that Briggs & Stratton engines smoothly run!

Not even creeping Jesus can deny the unrelenting native Hun!



Thursday, January 30, 2025

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Photo by Peter Dreyer

 Cyclops by Christos Saccopoulos, used by kind permission of the sculptor.

Copyright © 2023 - by Peter Dreyer

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